Cayla’s Story: Cancer Never Cares About Anything Like That

On reflection, cancer has always woven a silent thread through my relationship with my husband. Jordan and I met on a cruise in the Caribbean. I was a senior in college, celebrating spring break with friends. Jordan was on a family cruise to spread the ashes of his father, who had recently passed away after a battle with leukemia. We like to say that his dad, John, brought us together. We were even engaged near where his dad was laid to rest. Five years after we met, we got married in Sarasota. Three years later, our daughter was born.

The morning of our daughter’s second birthday, Jordan received news that no one wants to hear – a diagnosis of thyroid cancer. There is never a good moment to receive this kind of news, but facing it while parenting a lively two-year-old and being eight months pregnant with our second child made the news extremely difficult to process. There was so much potential, so much to be happy about! Cancer does not care about anything like that.

Toward the end of my second pregnancy, we learned I would need a c-section. Just two weeks after our son was born, Jordan needed to undergo surgery to remove his thyroid. With so much happening at once, we needed help. Fortunately, we were able to hire overnight help for our newborn son. We also relied heavily on family members to take our daughter to and from school and watch her during times when we needed extra support.

Before the last eighteen months, asking for help felt daunting—like a sign of weakness or a burden on others. Upon reflection, asking for help during a challenging time is a sign of strength, not weakness. Processing a cancer diagnosis is challenging. Caring for a newborn is challenging. Raising a two-year-old is challenging. Jordan and I were forced to acknowledge the limits of our capacities.

Accepting help freed up energy to focus on essential tasks, like attending medical appointments and fulfilling basic household needs. It allowed me to check in with myself as I tried to process a lifetime of changes happening at once. Just as importantly, it allowed others to contribute meaningfully to our well-being. I have never felt closer to my husband, my family, or our support system than during the challenging journey of cancer treatment we faced together. Cancer is difficult for everyone it touches. I’m thankful we didn’t make it harder than it needed to be. By staying open and asking for help, we gave ourselves the support we truly needed during an incredibly trying time.

Moffitt offers support groups where you can talk with people who have experienced cancer. Please visit Moffitt.org/SupportGroups to learn more.

This story was originally published in the PARTNERS newsletter. Visit Moffitt.org/PARTNERS for more stories and to learn more.