Dealing With Fear and Sadness While Physically Sick

With a cold or flu, we may feel miserable for at least a few days. However, it is rare that we feel fear. Biological normality is expected to return.

Cancer patients, however, may feel terribly ill from treatment side effects while also experiencing anxiety, fear and sadness. That is a whole heck of a lot to deal with.

Mary Sansone

Caregivers often want nothing more than for us to not only be cured but to be happy. “I wish they would get out of their funk!”

As a chemo and bone marrow recipient to combat acute myeloid leukemia, I experienced fear and sadness early on in my treatment. I even feared my own fear! I wondered, “Am I a spiritual weakling? God must be disappointed in me!”

It is important to not get stuck in sadness. Some people, myself included, can be stubborn and reluctant to accept help. I didn’t want to admit that “my consciousness is not working properly.” However, my perfect brain was doing its perfect job by sending signals to my beautiful soul that I needed a little help to feel better. I’m so grateful now that I acknowledged this and started doing things to lift my spirits.

With diminished sadness, my fear was more manageable.

Candidly and sometimes shockingly, I purged my feelings to nonjudgmental chaplains and social workers. I was able to move on, or at least have a good respite until my next venting session.

I even received professional mental health therapy. I Zoomed with my therapist and APRN who prescribed antidepressants. That made a wonderful difference. (After recovery, I weaned off the meds.)

I started water coloring. I was a messy amateur artist, but creativity played a HUGE part in elevating my spirits! I can’t say enough.

I also liked having something to look forward to. “After my walk, I think I’ll paint, then journal, then rest before my visitor arrives.” This funny little schedule kept me going. I was busy doing “nothing.”

Caregivers should also make sure that they pamper themselves with mental health resources if needed. We all deserve to be comfortable - mind, body and spirit.

To connect with your clinic social worker or a chaplain, call 813-745-8407. If you are having thoughts of suicide, immediate help is available by calling or texting 988.

This story was originally published in the PARTNERS newsletter. Visit Moffitt.org/PARTNERS for more stories and to learn more.