Holidays Your Way, Not the "Perfect" Way

Preparing for an upcoming holiday with a new cancer diagnosis can be overwhelming. You may still be dealing with your diagnosis and feel the pressure to think about holiday plans. There is often a desire to make things “perfect” for our families and friends, by way of gifts or celebrations. These high-stakes feelings are very common and very normal. The biggest thing to remember is that no holiday needs to be “perfect” to be memorable.

Families can help by asking what they can do to help during the season. You can choose to spend quiet time at home or develop new, smaller family traditions. The emotional connection happens in those small, simple moments like sharing stories, having a meal as a family, or going through old family photos. It doesn't need to be grand; the house doesn't need to be spotless. You can dress up or down, doing whatever brings you the most joy. If a big gathering is too much, it is okay to shorten visits and events when needed. Having open conversations with your loved ones about your needs and desires can help you feel more connected with them and reduce stress around the holidays.

When you feel the pressure of making your holidays “perfect,” do your best to gently bring your attention back to now. Take pictures, record videos, write down that funny joke you just heard. These small actions can create a sense of comfort and connection during times of sadness and unease. The goal is not perfection, but creating meaning, memories and love in a way that feels right for you.

For additional support, contact Moffitt's Social Work Office at 813-745-8407.

This story was originally published in the PARTNERS newsletter. Visit Moffitt.org/PARTNERS for more stories and to learn more.